As depicted through the following Podcast Episode of The Loincloth Hour
Trigger Warning: A Bunch of Gay Sex Jokes
Reader Discretion Advised.
“Our self image and our habits tend to go together. Change
one and you will automatically change the other.” ~Maxwell Maltz (2015).
“Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded”, p.70, Penguin
“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” ~Maxwell Maltz (2016). “Psycho-Cybernetics Deluxe Edition: The Original Text of the Classic Guide to a New Life”, p.82, Penguin
So, from the very beginning arc of “Awakening”, moving forward with the franchise of Gargoyles, we can agree on one thing—one of the key components of what makes Gargoyles so awesome is the changes we see unfolding through the character. Motivations, personalities, transformations and of course—Upgrades. Or are they truly upgrades from the audience’s perspective of things…? Take for example, some stuff I rounded up reading about psychologist Maxwell Maltz’s take on the matter, documenting psychological studies in cases in which people pursue plastic surgery for what they think will improve their lifestyle, but afterwards, find themselves not seeing anything that is truly different or has changed about themselves for the better that they like. To see an outside change or physical “Upgrade” is one thing, and the repercussions of getting physical “Upgrades” even when you are willing to, is that you will have an extreme psychological reaction to them. If it’s out of disgust, its perceived as a side effect or an inconvenience, but if it’s out of excitement, we perceive it as, well… an Upgrade. However, what you do with yourself on the outside does not necessarily cure anything that’s going on with you on the inside, and in practice accelerating an already fragile mindset can make unresolved psychological issues much worse in the long run.
“Upgrade” to me, and the other werewolf fanatics I’ve influenced out there, is such a pivotal episode. It’s when a character such as Wolf suddenly stops being a backdrop as The Pack’s ‘circus strongman’ aesthetic and develops more texture. I’d almost say it’s a turning point where his arc as an actual character in the Gargoyles universe “truly” begins? We begin to see the decontextualized issues he has with himself as a person. His character turns into this mysterious paper trail of psychological masculinity. Going into “Upgrade” with the context that Wolf is gay brings a whole new perspective on the character I feel a lot of straight audiences are ultimately oblivious to.
Anyways! I digress, let’s go ahead and begin our adventure into Gargoyles Season 2, Episode 18: “Upgrade”… At least the first 10 mins and 50 seconds of Upgrade because let’s be real, there’s SO MUCH for us to talk about that I kinda felt itd be easier to make Upgrade a two-parter for this podcast. I definitely went a little information overboard for my notes but god dammit we’re here now and I don’t care, here we are and here we go….
So Broadway is delivering the “Previously On” this time around? Like why though? I don’t know, I guess he had to do it at some point…
We see clips from Season 2 Episode 1, Leader of the Pack, where Coyote is introducing himself and just breaking Fox and Hyena out of prison. Fox of course we see rejecting Coyote’s offer and wanting to serve her time, which unbeknownst to them, she’s just chasing Xanatos’s millionaire coochie.
We get more clips of the Pack on the boat discovering Coyote/Xanatos is actually a robot and they’re just bailing from the hectic scenario, as we last saw them.
Fox says, “But they destroyed it!” Kinda hard to hear over
the background music?
Xanatos responds with, “Robots are nothing Fox my dear, True Love is so much
harder to come by.” See this quote could apply to Fox and Xanatos consistent
role throughout this episode, but I think it's also applicable for all the
respective groups we focus on; The trio trying to save their guardians from The
Pack & The Pack trying to overcome their greatest obstacle presented to
them: The Gargoyles. Of course, I’d like to deflect back to Wolf’s quote in
“Thrill of the Hunt”, in which he claims he feels unfulfilled with the lack of
action in his life. (Or maybe a special guy he can play with just sayiiiiin…)
In a way, these are all characters looking for what they would perceive as
“True Love”, and I think that is a brilliant quote to send off the previously
on segment of the episode.
City horizon, Title Drop: “Upgrade”
We get this sinister descending orchestral note as we zoom down to the bank with the Pack’s helipad on top. Sorta similar how in “Double Jeopardy”, a lot of the soundtrack pertains to the whole “evil genius” persona Thailog was building up for himself? This descending orchestral note sounds perfect because its foreshadowing how we’re about to descend into more of the pack’s madness.
Already as we zoom in on the empty bank’s inside with these empty tables and broad orange wall leading to the safe, we get that sort of technological woofering in the soundtrack that continues to follow us throughout the episode.
No clue where the bomb came from, presumably distributed to them by Coyote, but it counts down from 4 seconds with no one in sight and blows up the safe. Probably set up from Dingo?
Right after the bomb explodes, Wolf runs onto the scene flaunting his FAT ASS in full detail Solid Snake style in those tights?? Not only is he the first character to appear on screen in this episode but why did they need to detail his butt so big and blue-like? Its not fair! And his hair is like a majestic bushy tail flowing in the wind as he jogs over to what’s left of the safe, screams real loud, “LET’S MOVE!” and then tries to rip what’s left of the safe off the wall, lets out a hefty grunt while still flaunting that ass, and just knocks what’s left of the safe door down.
Literally no need for the ass being so good, and his nonchalant show-off of strength. Such a masculine diva. It really does feel like he’s legit made for the gays!!!
The Pack enters the vault behind where the safe door was, Wolf is flashing his pearly whites though i cant tell if he’s smiling? It looks like his mouth might be hanging open but I’m not sure. Either way, i can certainly tell his coochie be tight as FUCK.
Wolf struts his way into the vault like a diva with Jackal following behind with a big ol’ smile on his face, which I would probably have the same kinda smile if I were walking behind Wolf. ;3
Jackal rushes in with Hyena and Dingo behind him guffawing and saying, “I’d like to make a withdrawal!”
Dingo responds with, “So we finally sunk to robbin’ banks?” which it's like, sweetie, what are you still doing here? You clearly want no part in this group and that’s gonna show as we continue throughout the episode. Dingo is disappointed with the Pack stooping to a bank robbery, foreshadowing his upcoming exit from the group.
Hyena puts her hand on Jackal’s shoulder and responds to Dingo with, “Hey it's a living!”
We cut to the Gargoyles, Goliath, Broadway, Lexington and Brooklyn flying in on the scene from the horizon. Goliath casually says, “Its a quiet night.” Brooklyn responds quickly with, “Guess again! You’re not gonna believe who crawled out of hiding.” Eyeing the Pack helipad on top of the nearby bank they just happen to be flying overhead. So now they are going to stop the team for the third time now.
“The Pack!” Broadway exclaims.
Lexington grins and says, “Oh, I’ve been WAITING for another shot at them!” Still clearly bitter about all their previous encounters. The queer gargoyle is singling out the fake queers who are actually just queer for being fake queers.
Goliath instructs the trio, “Don’t lose the element of surprise—they are FORMIDABLE opponents.” I can’t tell if he’s legit or feigning sarcasm here, but I’d say he’s being cautious for the sake of the trio.
So then, the Pack are using ropes to climb out the window skylight to the roof back to the helipad and Wolf is urging them, going, “Move, move, move!” Like he’s trying to assert dominance as a leader, but he’s also nervous himself. Ie, he’s not going to be able to do the best job despite the amount of confidence he has in himself.
Look at all their little butts, so cute!~~
Hyena reaches the top first, gleefully exclaiming that, “This will keep us on the most wanted list!” Like she actually does want that and its so funny.
Immediately —and I mean IMMEDIATELY—she gets sucker punched
by a Lexington tail? Knocked to the side and everything.
“Should have remembered your ATM card, Hyena!” Lexington proudly proclaims.
What a line, honestly tho.
Jackal attacks Lexington for saying such a cheesy line. He
attacks him with a knife, the sadist. “You ever learn not to bother people at
work??” before literally trying to stab Lexington. I know Wolf isn’t partaking
in this action but I feel weapons outside his bare hands are a huge turn-off
for him, further proving he’s significantly less psychotic than the twins.
Before Jackal can shank Lexington, Broadway swoops in and sucker punches him
off of Lexington. Jackal’s head hits the nearby vent on the roof. Dingo takes a
few electric potshots at Lexington but misses. Lexington hops out of the way
and is carried in kiss position by Goliath by his big strong claws around his
little twink arms.
Dingo keeps taking shots at them but Goliath and Lexington
disperse.
While Dingo is taking shots, Wolf emerges finally. I like the implication that
Wolf weighs the most therefore he is the last to appear when the battle has
already started.
Dingo look like a supermodel the way he’s standing there.
Wolf emerges close behind Dingo’s taut buttocks. Brooklyn
nearby grab a pipe jack sticking out of the rooftop and snaps it off with ease
so he can be armed.
As Wolf finally gets his bearings emerging from the skylight behind Dingo, he hoarsely whispers to Dingo, “JUST SAVE THE BIG ONE FOR ME…” Such a character definitive and intense line. Like, there’s already a LOT to dissect here. First off, Dingo’s not even doing that great a job and now Wolf’s telling him to purposefully avoid the biggest Gargoyle because he wants to take him on personally??? Second off, its interesting that while the twins are the ones dealing with the Gargoyles head on, he turns to Dingo and says this, the only other built guy on their squad? Like its something Dingo should personally take into account for given their own relationship and history. Needless to say, while we’ve already gotten a lot of implications that Wolf is gay, this is a huge stepping stone that also ties into that paper trail leading to why he’s currently doing what he’s doing. It’d be different if Dingo and Wolf were out hunting buck but no, Wolf is saying this about taking down a big muscular monster MAN. Dingo and Wolf’s BODY CHEMISTRY on top of everything else? Like Wolf is not only comfortable talking about his “hunting preferences” but it's clear as day that Dingo is the one he’s become most comfortable being physically with, at least since Fox’s departure.
Its interesting to see Dingo and Wolf share such a pivotal scene together because it is their relationship that makes this episode so profound. Dingo is the last somewhat sane remaining member of the Pack, and Wolf is that bridge segwaying towards the dark roads ahead for the Pack leading to the twins and himself allowing for Coyote’s manipulation.
Brooklyn swoops in and attacks Dingo, causing Dingo to lose balance and drop his weapon. While Dingo is resembling a playground child who just sprained his knee, Brooklyn swoops over and before he can wreck Dingo’s shit, is whacked upside the head by Wolf’s giant red bag of money he’s holding. Brooklyn is barely coming to his senses while Jackal looks on in surprise as Broadway swoops in and delivers great war cry? As he slashes Jackal’s chest.
Jackal somersaults away from Broadway, and pulls out like a grappling hook type of pistol? He shoots Broadway with it and for some reason, it delivers a combustible explosion knocking Broadway back? Idk what kinda gun this is that can do that but whatever. Broadway weans off the impact of getting hit and just gets angrier while he REALLY wrecks Jackal’s shit and pounces on him.
Meanwhile off to the side Hyena is watching this shit happen, and sees Jackal get thrown into the side of their helipad. She tries rushing to his side only to face off with a still angry Broadway. She snarls at him like a literal hyena. She ninja runs against the wall only to get sideswiped by Lexington and knocked to the ground while he kinda holds her in place?
Then Lexington turns over and sees in the background what looks like Brooklyn assuming the position for Wolf from behind?
Like Brooklyn is just walking away from Wolf one second then drops on all fours as if he just got freshly knocked by the sack of money?? Anyways.
I’m having a hard time interpreting just what’s going on here other than Brooklyn admitting he wants daddy spankies from a meathead like Wolf.
So ummm, Wolf is about to do some kinda wrestling move or something on Brooklyn from behind but before he can, Goliath sneaks up behind Wolf! And then, scoops Wolf up and lifts him over his own head.
This is a really good frame btw.
He tosses him out of the way, over by where Dingo still currently is. Wolf’s big ass ragdolls off to the side by Dingo. While Wolf is coming to his senses, Dingo approaches and just wraps his arms around his shoulders and helps him out?
This is soooo cute y’all. Just more assurance that these two, despite the profession they were in, did care about each other to some extent. Am I implying they rubbed dicks? Yes. There’s like this little operatic choir playing as Dingo trots over and puts his arms around Wolf…
As Wolf comes to his senses, Dingo pulls out one of his shock grenades and shows it to Wolf, saying, “If we take out Goliath, this fight is ours!”
I love the smile Wolf gives in response, but I can’t stand the fact that they forgot to draw in Dingo’s mustache here!!! Wolf turns to Dingo, gives that real sinister smile he always gives (Ie, the ONLY times he ever smiles normally involving Goliath) and says, “NOW you’re talkin’!”
These two are SO fucking gay.
Why does he still have his arm on his shoulder though? Like, he doesn’t NEED to do that but chooses to anyways. So, Dingo tosses the grenade at Goliath’s back and it goes off, zapping him! Lexington turns his back as this distracts him while he’s beating the hell out of Hyena. As well as Broadway who’s currently dominating the hell out of Jackal. Brooklyn leaps back out of surprise, being the closest to Goliath at the moment.
Goliath is getting his titties zapped, then falls to his knees before falling forward on his face. Kinda hot ngl.
Brooklyn exclaims, “Goliath!” and rushes to his side while he’s lying on the rooftop weakened. So as the trio rushes to Goliath, Dingo has Jackal hauled over his shoulder while he, Hyena and Wolf rush back to the pack’s helipad.
Look at this fucking diva rushing with his hands at his hips. So dainty! In the middle of his little diva run away though, he turns back at the Gargoyles and growls aloud, “This isn’t over!” And he rushes back to the helipad.
Butt.
Wolf does a gay little runaway and the helipad launches and takes off from the roof.
The Gargoyles are left there after the battle ends and Lexington turns to Broadway and is all, “We can’t just let them get away!”
“Helping Goliath is more important.” Brooklyn responds, already foreshadowing the role he plays in this episode.
As the trio straddles Goliath by the titties on the rooftop making sure he’s okay, we segway back to the Pack’s helipad taking off and soaring through the night sky…
So we focus on The Pack having freshly escaped the Gargoyles again, Wolf is just muttering aloud, “Should’ve stayed and finished them off…” But it contrasts with what we just saw, because he not only did not stay and do just that if he really felt that strongly about this decision to stay and finish the gargoyles off, but he ALSO ran too because the rest of his team was running, ergo, a Wolf cannot function without a pack? Another piece of proof that he does not make a good leader as he cares more about how he’s perceived by others around him and against him than what is actually important for the group as a whole. All of Wolf’s input and dialogue are displayed to us, the viewers. The Pack in its current state of things is a lost and directionless unit without Fox or Coyote’s manipulative guidance. None of these unhinged individuals are cut out to be leaders, let alone lead a successful criminal operation. Robbing a bank Dingo saw as petty, but without direction, what the hell else were they going to do? As a matter of fact that’s probably exactly how Wolf pitched the idea to the rest of the Pack—Let’s just rob a bank, because what the hell else are we going to do?? I think that Wolf wants to take every possible opportunity to show off how tough he is and this line suggesting that they made the wrong choice by fleeing is another instance of falsified bravado on Wolf’s end rather than an acceptance of reality. He’s wishing he could have been tougher than he was in the actual situation and already displays intense signs of insecurity.
Its comparable to someone saying they are armed when they actually were not armed when it was necessary.
“Oh, our ‘would-be’ leader speaks!” Hyena responds discordantly. Of course she’s pissed off because of the directionless and Wolf who’s just insecure about the whole thing and also is such an easy target as per usual. Fuck the twins. LOL.
More Wolf butt. This episode RULES.
She kinda flaunts to him how Dingo is really the only one who was able to get away with the money? Did Wolf lose his money after the scuffle with Goliath…?
So upon lLooking back on the scene, it seems the money bag Wolf was holding was in between scenes and disappears after he uses it to hit Brooklyn over the head, which makes me believe that he set it down for whatever reason and while he was running away forgot about it??? Wolf, sweetie, you are not meant for this kinda lifestyle LMAO
Anyways while Hyena is saying this Wolf is just stoic walking towards her as she’s cradling her injured brother (REMINDER: not incest) and as he’s approaching, it looks like his crotch is screaming for help. Like his pants are so tight, it's not even funny. This guy is literally wearing furred shoulder bracers and displaying his arms, like he’s so gay and desperate for attention its not even funny.
That’s crazy. The way he walks over and struts like a diva, motherfucker you’re so extra you were MEANT for the catwalk!
So he's about to shake his fist at her and bitch right back about the situation cause he’s soooo not in the mood, but before he can do that, the sound of the hangar door opening distracts him. Still getting amazing shots of Wolf’s back and butt and his ponytail flowing behind him, almost making it look like he’s got a tail? I am so thankful for this.
Jackal lets out a grunt sarcastically asking if anyone’s expecting any visitors? While being cradled in his sister’s bosom. Fun.
Wolf pulls out like a little prostitute pistol before gayly rushing over to the hangar doors. It's so funny cause he pulls it out like a Charlie’s Angel, it's like the littlest gun I ever saw. I thought it was the same as Dingo’s grappling gun he had earlier at first, but upon closer look it's just an actual standard pistol that I think Wolf used to use when he was a prostitute.
So he pushes the button and like a genuine Charlies Angel or Bond Girl, he just points the gun at the door and waits for the door to open with his ponytail behind him looking fine and everything?
POV: You’re a traitor in Among Us.
So the second Coyote’s head just floats inwards, Wolf’s face fucking drops. He looks almost like he’s genuinely scared? As if his day couldn’t get any worse!
Also did Coyote just slam his disembodied floating head up against the metal hunk of door to get their attention cause that’s the only feasible explanation as to how he fucking knocked on their door.
This motherfucker rolling up like “It’s Britney, Bitch!” Or more like, “I’m here to make your mental illnesses SIGNIFICANTLY worse!!!” Coyote is living proof that AI can only make things significantly worse especially for the simple minded.
He just says plainly, “May I come in?” with that shit-eating Xanatos grin but in this case he’s literally just doing the same thing Xanatos would? Making some kinda smarmy self beneficial proposition…
We crossfade to the Gargoyles clocktower where the group is just watching Hudson play with Goliath’s freshly bandaged titties as Goliath sits on Hudson's sofa… As he’s doing this, he’s explaining to Goliath, “Next time, ye may not be so lucky. I don’t like to think this way, but its time ye chose a second in command.”
Just palms his claw up against Goliath’s chest muscles and holds it there as he says, “Someone to take ye place if the worst happens.”
Wow. He fucked him so good he had to bandage himself up after the fact.
This is one of those tender moments between these two, like Hudson being physically comforting to Goliath while giving sound advice out of concern and reason accompanied with Goliath just looking up at Hudson tenderly, like WOW.
Goliath is looking “If… One day, I cannot lead… You shall my
friend.” Just not even considering Hudson like has to come out of retirement
for that though? I mean, semi-retirement… Whatever Hudson considers himself.
But still???
Hudson immediately responds by making a disgusted sound, like “Dude, really???” I do not blame him! Hudson’s only like semi-retired as it is always helping the clan out including Goliath. The thought of him doing all the work turning him off is definitely justified here.
He like does a little diva hand wave like ‘uh-uh girl, nah, you were MY second and I passed the job to you!” Also can I just like mention Hudson’s bicep here? Yummy as FUCK.
“There’s no point in going backwards,” Hudson explains, then gestures over to the trio listening to the conversation off to the side, “Not when you have three hearty young warriors to choose from.”
Broadway putting his hand on Lexingtons shoulder all protective like being the protective big brother he is!
But then Hudsons like “And choose you MUST.” like putting that heat on Goliath like, ‘hey man dont pass the buck to my old ass choose the next generation to lead the roost.’
Goliath manifests a very dead-inside look like ‘oh great now i got more work to do and this shit aint easy.’ Who would YOU GUYS pick for second in command? Don’t say Brooklyn.
Then we crossfade to the sunrise over the NYC shore. We pan down to the ocean, see little eel pass by and at the bottom of the little ocean in front of the city is the packs helipad which can apparently act as a little submarine base as well. We overhear a very grumpy Jackal just hissing out at Coyote, “What kind of scrap heap did YOU crawl out of???”
Ugh its so gross why is JACKAL the one shirtless now all of a sudden with all those bandages from Broadway’s roughhousing??? Its like 10 or 20 steps backwards from seeing Wolf shirtless during the Packs last appearance!!! I guess its because Jackal looks like Tony Dracon. I dont like him.
“Claws inward, brother.” Hyena says, “Let’s hear what ol’ Coyote has to say.” She’s just saying that cause she wants to fuck him.
So Wolf and Dingo are just standing over the table kinda interrogating this fucking disembodied robot head. Wolf’s got his arms all crossed and everything while looking down at it all like ‘so this is what its come to’ and Dingos just like daintily walking over as well. “Thank you, Hyena,” Says Coyote, “I’ve merely come to offer my humble assistance with the Gargoyles.”
Wolf just fucking grabs Coyote’s, yanks it out of the wiring on its little aero-platform, and is just showing off to it all like “Hope you can swim metal mouth, cause we don’t NEED your help!” He growls out. God damn, Clancy’s voice is so god damn FINE as Wolf! Where is his fucking award!?!?!?
“Suit yourself” Coyote says as he’s manhandled and carried over by Wolf who has the finest fucking hips i ever did see even with Hyena twerking over her brother in the background. Wolf’s hips definitely do not lie.
Coyote’s just preying on Wolfs insecurities with his next line, going all, “But its such a SHAME to see you BEATEN by the Gargoyles when there’s SO MANY resources at your disposal.” Now in a single sentence Coyote went from preying on Wolf’s obvious insecurities to creating intrigue and getting him deeper into his little rabbit hole or whatever.
Then before you know it, its actually DINGO who steps in and stops Wolf from just spacing Coyote into the ocean. Thinking he’s got more sense to let Coyote go, Dingo walks up, and is all “We’re listenin’.”
Then next thing you know Wolfs just like shoving Coyote’s head into Dingo’s tits!?!?! Like he’s just like “you wanna negotiate the head?? YOU wanna fuck the head this time?? FINE YOU TAKE THE HEAD!!!” and just smothers Coyotes putrid face into Dingos beebaws. WE CAN TECHNICALLY SAY THAT WOLF DID IN FACT GIVE DINGO HEAD NOW. ITS CANON MOTHERFUCKERS, DEAL WITH IT.
could you just imagine dingo and wolf passing coyotes head around in the bedroom like hot potato. So Dingo just bashfully is all like ‘fine i’ll carry the head then ill work this out im group mommie now.’ Lets see how longs that lasts lmao.
Wolf just stares angrily as Dingo walks away with the head like ‘it shouldve been ME dammit!’ And also cause Wolf is irrevocably fucking Dingo this entire time so hes like kind of at odds with whoever hes getting nookie from.
So Dingo holds Coyotes head at a certain angle next to the monitor and Coyote just like happily explains some exposition to them while somehow projecting some footage onto the monitor. Its a clip of Talon in full uniform already somehow emerging from his mutation as Coyote begins his sales spiel, “For example, have you ever considered the bounties of genetic engineering?” Totally presumably looking at Wolf who probably wishes he could have inherited better genetics for himself (poor baby has begun getting sold the alpha male placebo hooooo boy…) Then we see another clip of Coldstone fighting Goliath and says “Or maybe Cybernetics is more your style?” probably looking over at the twins at this point. Crazy how I referenced Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics and now here he is literally saying the word Cybernetics… I wonder if Greg had that psychological study in mind when he wrote this episode?? accompanied by a clip of Xanatos using the Gargoyle Power Armor or whatever from “The Edge” and Coyote’s like, “And they say clothes make the man.” The MAN. More of Wolf’s insecurities being pulled into the forefront. A future quote from the series, ‘What would a mutate werewolf know about being a man’ really echoes strongly in this prior scene.
Dingo just peers down at the Coyote head in attentive disbelief i’d call it. Then, another clip plays on the nearby monitor of Coyote in his power armor during the prison break sequence in S2E1 as Coyote continues, “And my PERSONAL favorite—the glory of robotics!”
Dingo does the diva hand wave this time, emulating Hudson doing it earlier (they’re both the voices of reasons for their respective groups at this point so its kind of an ironic metaphor?) “Save the horror show for Halloween,” Dingo retorts, “But that armor is sharp!” He’s already like, “Hey, im okay with who i am, i just wanna dress nice and be cool.”
Jackal hisses in response, “I’m sure tired of taking punishment!” (sure you are, sub boy!) “And I’d love to be able to give some back!” Its interesting he’s saying this as the one who was the most battle damaged after their fight with the gargoyles, he’s really just acting off of his mor pissed off emotional state than actually making a cognitive decision. Jackal however, curves his brow at the proposal, “What’s the catch?”
Coyote’s head, now planted firmly on Dingo’s firm muscular thigh, just responds with, “please! Its all compliments of the hardworking men & women of Xanatos enterprises!” (bullshit, its at the cost of their remaining sanity just like any other capitalist enterprise run by mongrels.) “Xanatos!?” Wolf responds. He scratches his beard, “Figures. Why didn’t he come himself!?” Says Wolf, pointing accusatory at Coyote’s head. Little did ANY of us motherfuckers know—this is the last frame we’ll ever see of Wolf in his human form. This is the breakoff point for him—my baby boy is growing up soon!!! To be a furry, that is.
“Mr. Xanatos is a VERY busy man,” Coyote responds to Wolf from Dingo’s lap. Which also makes me think about how Wolf has to stare at Dingo’s muscular thighs to maintain this conversation…
Coyote smiles as we crossfade to Xanatos’s office. Fox and Xanatos are just sitting at a table, facing opposite ends from each other. “And so the game begins,” Xanatos says. That’s it. That’s all that happens. No further context provided. Ngl, I'm just like seething low key watching their scenes in retrospect like oof they are just enjoying what they've done with the pack. “Yes we’ve taken already unstable mentally ill individuals and manipulated them further into becoming their worst selves!” while also being unstable mentally ill individuals themselves like ok sweeties.
We crossfade to the clocktower and get a “ONE MONTH LATER” overlay. A whole MONTH has now passed since we last saw the Pack and the Gargoyles. I’m sure NOTHING relevant or significant has happened between this time period at all, no siree…
“Time for the nightly demonstration of my LEADERSHIP skills!” Lexington boasts to Broadway and Brooklyn. “Speed is the key!” He says. Like okay lmao.
“Slow and steady wins the race!” Broadway retorts.
“Well maybe so but i think its mister fast AND steady whose stopped the most crimes this month!” Brooklyn gloats. Fast and steady. Just what all the ladies and bisexual furs LOVE to hear Brooklyn. Honestly like they don’t even iterate what it is they’re ‘fast’ or ‘slow’ at, like is it flying? Fucking? Jerking off???
Bronx off to the side just lets out a little doggie groan at hearing all the bickering. He’s all like “Ughhhh these Gen Z-ers just can’t make rational decisions on anything!” Like whatever.
The trio then leap off the balcony soaring away from the clocktower and into the night sky. Goliath and Hudson observe from the balcony. Goliath appears pensive and Hudson just crosses his arms, “Ya can’t put off the decision of second-in-command forever, lad.” Goliath just groans and goes, “Yes… I knowwww…” Like this is just not easy for him cause all the trio are still a bunch of horny youngsters. Then Elisa approaches them from the doorway, “Our SWAT teams got the pack pinned down at an abandoned building.”
Goliath turns and brings his wings out at the ready, “I KNEW the pack would not stay hidden!” He exclaims, “We must summon the others!”
Elisa just shakes her head and is all, “No time—its all going down NOW!”
Then we jumpcut to a bunch of police cars just on the side of the road shining spotlights on what appears to be the abandoned building Elisa was referring to. A policeman shoots like a smoke grenade into a window on the top floor and it fucking BLOWS UP THE BUILDING!?!?!? Like was that supposed to happen!?!?!?! Bro!!!!!!
Amongst the disintegrating building, we see a sorta construction site behind it where a new buildings being built? Kinda like that construction site the whole final act of Spider-man 3 takes place? And we also see Coyote’s head just zooming around observing onwards as this kinda ominous twilight zone styled music plays in the background.
We see Goliath, Elisa and Hudson just kinda looking onwards at the wreckage from one of the upper floors of the constructed structure, “Tear gas shouldn’t cause that kind of explosion,” Elisa explains.
“You win a gold star, detective!” Coyotes head responds, overing overhead and looking down at them. Apparently Bronx is here as well for backup.
“What manner of trickery is this!?!?!” Goliath exclaims.
“As you may have surmised, that explosion was just for the tourists!” Coyote explains, then continues, “The REAL ACTION is right up here!” Getting all up in Goliaths face. Hoooo boy, here we fuckin’ go…
Goliath tries to grab Coyote’s floating head but it dodges, almost kinda messing with him? It continues to like soar around them teasing them as Hudson tries to like shank it with his sword, but also misses cause its just to swift. Bronx is growling at it the whole time. It hovers away into a cloud of smoke as the four look onward…
Then they hear some rocket boots boosting dowards before them. Its Dingo in full robotic power armor and he just playfully says to them, “G’day, mates!” I think its an interesting creative decision to first display Dingo’s ‘Upgrade’ before everyone else considering the only upgrade he got for himself was armor.
Elisa just kinda has like an exasperated gasp at realizing this. Then they hear more robotic whirring coming from behind them and its Jackal whos now set up kinda like this half-cyborg steampunk looking dude with this like mechanical eyepatch he’s got on? He’s crawling on some boxes with his boots and high heels like Lady Gaga or some shit and he just fucking runs up to them bearing claws and gleefully goes, “What’s the matter? Never seen a cybernetic jackal before!?!?”
Then fucking Hyena is just scaling the beams above them leaping from beam to beam like some kind of wild animal and cackling giddily like a crazy person. Then she does like a stripper pole dance kinda move against some sort of pipe, grinding down it with her claws. They’re all just acting like a bunch of freaks with Dingo being the most subtle. BUT then of course we’re just now getting to the reveal of the bestest boy…
Overhead, Goliath Elisa and Hudson hear some boxes being rummaged with and then knocked down, nearly falling on them and Goliath instinctively protecting Elisa in his wings. The three of them look up and overhear some testosterone fueled growling, seeing now clad in just a singlet piece of spandex and arm bracers—Wolf, now turned into a complete furry wolfman!!! He is embracing his gay dreams without even realizing it. He is not only a Wolfman but he has let his hair down lower?? Its still tied up but now he seems a bit more flamboyant and effeminate, dare I say? His hair and brows are a more light platinum white kind of color and his brows are also much bushier than before, almost having these metalhead spikes to them. His eyes are red around the iris and pooled in an ocean of yellow moon. He did lose his mustache, his beard now connecting mostly around his jawline area and his mustache almost working its way up but being lost in Wolf’s timber fur color. His nose is kind of pointed and more crinkled, a bit goblin like? His ears are big and pointed. His arms, legs and feet are completely bare and exposed—not to mention his legs are that of an anthropomorphic Wolfman. His feet are big and clawed and can probably stomp on you something hardcore. Wolf, what big eyes you have! Wolf what big ears you have! Wolf, what big TEETH you have!
Idk how big Wolf's feet were as a human but they are huge
here. And his curves and waistline still are somewhat hourglass shaped leading
up to his big broad chest—tragically concealed by his singlet and his armored
chest piece shaped in the symbol of the pack.
He lands ninja-spire styled on the boxes, kind of mimicking how Goliath
positions himself when he lands on something? Just by looking at him you can
see his mutated form is heavily inspired by Goliath, with his hair being let
down more and his masculine figure being more exposed and I’d say his inhuman
features bringing a form of flamboyancy to Wolf’s masculinity. He seems to be
more ‘stripper attuned’ like this and I am all for it.
I know there are people who prefer Wolf’s human form but he is SUCH a big pretty boy diva like this and I love him for it. This is the closest Wolf has come to coming out of the closet. When we first saw Wolf in “Thrill of the Hunt”, he is much more subdued in terms of behavior and is significantly less extravagant than how he is by the time we get to “Upgrade.” After he mutates? He’s more flamboyant, extravagant, animated, expressive—his motions are energetic and fluid, he lets his hair down more to have it appear more feminine than masculine, he shows off more skin to where you can’t unsee every inch of his bare legs and buttocks. He’s more hot-blooded than before and it already seems like he can breathe easier than himself, in a way? Now I’m not saying that Wolf turning himself into a mutate is the CLOSEST the man has come to coming out of the closet, but it may as well be because he’s now physically altered his appearance to try and measure up to another man.
As he lands on the boxes and stand up he lets out just a testosterone addled growl delivered by Clancy Brown’s voice! Its like so primal and manly sounding while also being somewhat simultaneously dorky? He’s making himself out to be a big bad wolf like he is in his own mind!!! He growls and leaps off the boxes down to meet with the others!
I also want to point out just how much more ‘unique’ Wolf’s “Upgraded” form is compared to the twins who just wanted to become killing machines. With Wolf its like theres a sense of genuine identity crisis going on.
So like that spooky technological music just intensifies as the Pack surrounds the four, with Elisa curling up into Goliaths boobs for moral support. Nah but for real tho, its cute as hell that she’s hugging him but also Elisa is actually like ‘what do we do???’
“Even the archmages sorcery brewed no creatures like THESE!”
Hudson says, basically saying that the Pack’s freak levels outdo any form of
black magic that could ever occur. That’s hardcore lmao.
Goliath turns to Hudson, “we HAVE defeated them before…”
“Not the new UPGRADED models!” Hyena shouts, while doing like
a handstand and leaping in the air.
Goliath spreads his wings and like tosses Elisa to the side trying to like get
her out of the way of any impending attacks. Elisa does a little tuck and roll,
leading into her backflipping to her feet and pulling out her pistol.
Hyena with her heels magnetically latches to a steel beam further up the structure overhead, and bounces off elsewhere. Elisa tries to prepare for anything, frantically aiming her pistol left and right.
“Elisa!” Goliath shouts, before his wrist is grabbed and pulled back by an armored Dingo. Goliaths eyes glow white as he tries to deliver a punch, his fist reverberating off the tin mechanism. He groans in pain after doing that, attempting to regain the feeling of his hand.
Hyena lands on another upper steam beam with her heels and continues making her way after Elisa whos still just frantically aiming her gun around. Hyena leaps down and kicks Elisa back, knocking the gun out of her hands.
Dingo shoots Goliath with this laser beam that looks like its shooting these little white bubbles of sorts, with these giant blue rings around them? It looks like kinda a knockback ray of sorts just to like push him but its very strange and futuristic looking.
As Goliath tumbles backwards from the blast, suddenly he feels the warmth of big muscular furry arms catching and cradling him by his chest…
“Grrrr, may I have this dance, Goliath?!?!?!?” >:D
As Goliath is helplessly caught in the Wolfman’s grasp, Wolf leans in and does a more “Animal sounding” growl than your typical testosterone fueled growl Wolf normally does. In this scene, we get that commonly shared-around close up of Mutated!Wolf where we can see on the details of his transformed face in the moonlight. He leans in and its like he’s got these sharp fangs and bushy eyebrows, and those intense red eyes… Gosh, I feel like Jane from the Disney Tarzan movie just from looking at him… “I’ve never seen such eyes… So intense, focused…”
Also is he leaning in to bite Goliath, or… Kiss him…? What we don’t talk about enough is the fact that Wolf is HOLDING GOLIATH in this frame and is leaning his face towards him to display his new looks!!!
Just cause like, he doesn’t sink his teeth into him by any means, its almost like he’s trying to show off his new look to Goliath more than anything. Like, us as the viewer seeing Wolf’s face in the moonlight is sorta taking on what Goliath sees, Wolf carrying Goliath and leaning in? Had the shot not been so close, I feel like it would have been much more intimate, Goliath remembering Wolf from their one-on-one brawls and Wolf is just now showing off this form to try and compensate for his lack of Goliaths strength, and he’s just like, “Grrrrrrr, ya like the sight, Goliath!?!?” Baby boy just wants attention and praise for what he’s done to himself, its honestly pathetically cute! I’d even consider this scene the masculine equivalent to a woman who is attempting to woo her mate with her new makeover?? It all falls back onto the “Psycho-Cybernetics” teaching of how what you do on the outside doesn’t necessarily fix what you feel on the inside. When you stop looking at Wolf for his masculinity and more for how his personality is shaped and formed around his perspective on masculinity, the queer subtext begins to transform into text and it's so riveting to witness that happen in scenes just like this. We’re going to be getting much more of this down the line now that Wolf has embarked on a remarkably strange and queer physical transformation.
However, Goliath in response to Wolf’s advances straight up grabs his face/nose/muzzle, almost in like a smack motion? But more in the attitude of, "Your pet is trying to kiss you and you really don’t want them to do that at the moment.” Goliath grabs his face and starts pushing him back almost like “No, bad boy!” Meanwhile off in the background there’s an unconscious Elisa and Jackal just awkwardly watching the gay display of beast men all up in each other’s personal space.
Wolf however counters Goliath’s grip and as soon as he does, what does this big boy do? He grabs Goliath by the biceps, yanks him upwards and it doesn’t necessarily show where Wolf’s left hand is grabbing, presumably either his other arm, his upper thigh, his lower waist? But he’s now straight up just holding Goliath over his head like he’s about to put on a nice hat or something??
You can see Goliath’s ass, but whatever Wolf can see from that angle is probably a lot bigger, longer—pretty much its as if Goliath’s dick could be just dangling out his loincloth and Wolf’s trying desperately to get a good LONG look at it up close??
Wolf: sees Goliath's cock
“Wow… His dick is...........bigger than mine?”
One of my biggest headcanons is that ive always seen Wolf as something of a brat bottom pillow princess diva boy. Like, his existence revolves around Goliaths dick or finding a dick thats quite like Goliaths. Wolf is too stubborn and insecure to admit it but I feel like Wolf actually loves how big Goliath's cock is.
Lmfao, @ Jackal cheering from the background. He’s all like “Yeah Wolf… You suck that canonically big Gargoyle dick!”
Much like the ways of Helga tossing Arnold around in “Hey Arnold”, or Libby tossing Jimmy around in “Jimmy Neutron”, or Bluto tossing Popeye around from those old “Popeye” cartoons—Wolf then uses that brutish strength of his to toss Goliath across the area!
Goliath lands some distance away and the next thing we see is Wolf just standing there with his hands at his waist and looking super proud of himself as Hudson sneaks on him from behind.
What you see VS. What HE sees!
Yes that is his actual reaction is to stand there with his hands on his hips with a big grin on his face like 'yeahhhh i got him! see, I'm the real man, you big... sexy... uh, jerk! Yeah, jerk, that's what I meant to say…’
So Hudson comes in from behind and tackles Wolf to the ground to try and save Goliath from Wolf’s evil gay clutches. So what does Hudson do EXACTLY? Well, let’s break this down, he tackles Wolf to the ground from behind and the very next thing we see? SOMEHOW, Wolf ends up landing on his back with Hudson pressing down on his shoulders with his hands, his knees holding Wolf’s anthropomorphic legs in place and it looks like he’s just ravenously dry humping Wolf. Wolf the whole time is kind of FREAKING OUT?? I think he might genuinely be gay-panicking in this moment, he tries to grab Hudsons shoulder but Hudson does this like forward THRUST of his body against Wolf who’s pinned to the ground and Wolf actually lurches his hand back for a second?? He’s like “WHOA” and just hesitates almost like he’s unsure what to do with the sudden close physical contact?? Wolf must have a complete whirlwind going through his head during this scene if he's gay—which he is!
Meanwhile Goliath in the background gets to his feet and sees what's going on with Wolf and Hudson and is just kinda leaning back like “Well I guess I’ll let them have their fun…?”
Meanwhile Goliath sees the flying Coyote head just hovering above and he calls out to Hudson, “That’s the source of the trouble!”
We cut back to Hudson who is still on top of Wolf and Wolf
just looks…
Shocked? Surprised? Scared?? This sequence reminds me a lot of Goliath and Wolf’s first fight in S1E6, where Goliath effortlessly deflects Wolf’s fist and Wolf just makes that face displaying just sheer ‘fear’, whether its a fear of what he doesn’t understand or a fear of what he doesn’t understand about himself… Even with the new Upgrade, he still runs into the same emotional deflective states he did when he was a human. The more things “change”, the more things stay the same.
Hudson sitting on Wolf like this is so fascinating cause Hudson sees this as just normal ‘daddy putting an unruly boy in place’ but to Wolf this is the most horrifying physical ‘brush’ with the terms of his reality that he’s encountered. The biggest question I’d like to ask, does Wolf have a boner during this scene? Its entirely probable. If he does have one, he’s afraid of it and desperately wants to gain the upper hand back so that no one finds out about it.
As he’s attempting to straddle Wolf into place like the ‘bad boy’ he is, Hudson responds back to Goliath, “Follow it (it being Coyote’s head), I’ll take care of this Forest Demon!” Before reeling his fist back and landing a hard delivered off-screen punch to Wolf.
As Hyena is watching the scene off to the side, Goliath begins to climb up the nearby construction pillar to go after Coyote, and Hudson and Wolf are kinda still struggling and high-key frotting with each other. We hear this like canine-like snarling and for a second because of what we were seeing when we first heard it, I thought it was Wolf reacting and fussing from the daddy energy Hudson is trying to impose?
But it turns out to be Bronx trying to go after Jackal off to the side. Bronx is snarling facing off and Jackal is just like kinda playing around with him, he’s balancing on the edge of the construction framing dancing around a pillar taunting Bronx saying, “Round and round, Jackal goes! Where he stops…”
Then he delivers a dropkick knocking Bronx off to the side and he finishes the rhyme, “Only HE knows...” Gosh he’s such a fucking dork. Bronx shakes the pain away and bites onto Jackal’s robot arm then begins to just maul him on the spot. Jackal begins to like fuss and kick with his weird cyborg gogo boots? So Bronx literally rips Jackal’s arm fresh off of him with all this circuitry being exposed! Bronx leaps off to the side staring at Jackal, arm still in his mouth like it's a fresh bone he just found. Jackal though is just grinning and elated as he holds his remaining arm stub out, fried circuitry just spewing from the area? He’s got like that dorky heath Ledger Joker smile as he grins back at Bronx like the fights only just begun.
Meanwhile, we get a shot of Goliath climbing the construction pillars heaving his giant muscular man tits as he’s going along. I think it's because before they cut to commercial they wanna show us that Goliath is the only one currently not facing off with the pack at the moment.
Suddenly, Jackal’s arm whisks its way back to life in Bronx’s mouth and begins to like twirl its wrist around, surprising Bronx and causing him to drop the arm. It kind of does that thing Thing from the Addams Family used to do, using its clawed fingers to make its way across the floor and returning diligently to Jackal, who happily picks the arm up and places it back in its socket. Really really creepy, and judging by Bronx’s reaction, he thinks so too. Jackal readies for a blow and then delivers it directly to the POV of the audience assuming bronx’s perspective—basically, he punches the screen, we hear Bronx let a whine out, and we cut to commercial.
AND THAT IS THE FIRST 9 MINS AND 14 SECS OF UPGRADE.
We fade back from commercial to a shot of Dingo, Hyena and Jackal looking down pridefully at a defeated Elisa and Bronx. Dingo struggles to take his helmet off and sighs, catching his breath.
As he does this though, up walks Wolf—bridal carrying an unconscious Hudson. I kid you not.
So naturally a lot of questions are conjured as to just how Wolf bested Hudson in that wrestling match because last we saw, Hudson was on top of Wolf pinning him down and it seemed like they were getting a little too physical if ya catch my drift.
So, our good friend and collaborative listener, ThatSnarkyRemmy, has his own theory as to what happened in their fight together. He says, and I quote, “I kind of like to get think that at some point, namely between the moment Wolf knocked Hudson out and the moment he took Hudson to the pile of unconscious heroes, he whipped his dick out and rubbed it on Hudson's face, to mark Hudson with the smell of his dick as a sort of extra power move, like an ‘I'm the real daddy here thing.” He continues and I paraphrase, “There are few smells in the world are as good as the smell of an aroused man's glans. Wolf should know that full well, so to get the smell of his aroused glans on another male, it's just a power move for him. Of course, if someone does it to him, he'll snarl about it even though his dick gets rock-hard in record time from the smell of cock on his face.”
You could theorize maybe a little more than dick smelling and/or rubbing went on between Wolf and Hudson back there but I’ll leave that entirely up to everyone’s imaginations. All I’m saying is all the visceral imagery you can get outta that is sexy as hell. It could also be considered a bridging point as to why whenever there is porn of Wolf hes paired with Hudson, that’s up to the viewers jurisdiction but artists such as Anon, DudeBulge, JagKnight and hell, I’ve commissioned a few artists to see those two together because they’re my two favorite characters and they’re both hot as hell. Not my favorite ship but one of those pairings where you just wanna see the way they fuck each other because they’re really fucking masculine and queer in their own ways.
Anyways, after Wolf sucked Hudsons dick once he knocked him out, he bridal carries him over to the pile of defeated heroes and just nonchalantly drops him to the ground with a thud. All about the bedroom manners, that Wolf! Hudson lets out… what I think is supposed to be a groan of pain buts it’s a little hard to tell because it also sounds like he just got his world rocked and he’s still trying to wrap his dazed lil mind around whatever Wolf did with him. Like its almost like a post-fucked moan, like “Ugh-hoaaaah….” Speaking from experience, that is very close to what a man’s submissive orgasm sounds like in the bedroom.
Dingo begrudgingly turns to Wolf and just brattily remarks, “I hope yer not planning to EAT your catch…” There’s something real sad sounding to the way he says that, like it’s as if he genuinely doesn’t even know if that’s what Wolf can do at this point.
When we cut to Wolf, he’s got that frown on his face that I think is super adorable and share around quite a lot. A lot of Wolf frames from this following scene are quite good.
Wolf brats right back at him, “Now that I’m in charge, I’m not taking any more of your cracks.” Wolf you stupid stupid boy. First off, its funny how this one line says so much because it infers Dingo has clearly had issues with Wolfs change for a while now and has been vocalizing it.
Meanwhile in the background, Goliath is climbing onto one of the upper floors in search of the floating Coyote head, kinda tiptoe-ing his big Garg claws around so the Pack doesn’t catch wind of him, or that Wolf doesn’t smell his big manly dick and balls and come his way.
Then somehow he doesn’t notice the giant fucking robot skulking in the shadows watching him sneak around. Seriously theres a giant hulking robot right there on the platform with him with glowing red eyes and a big ol pack symbol for a head. It looks like a big ol yellow transformer furry.
It comes to life going after Goliath and then you just hear Coyote go, “Ah, Goliath. I’d like you to meet my better half…”
We then cut back to the girls having a little spat with the twins just kinda awkwardly watching from the sidelines. Dingo argues back with Wolf being all, “Yer not our leader, Wolf—yer barely our SPECIES!” Wolf like lifts up his lil fists because he just seems so offended by what Dingo just said. Dingo continues, turning away from them and saying, “I still can’t believe what you three did to yourselves…”
I think I can explain as to WHY this conversation is occurring between Dingo and Wolf, psychologically analyzing the specifics of this apparent ‘break-up.’
When we first saw Wolf in “Thrill of the Hunt”, he is much more subdued in terms of behavior and is significantly less extravagant than how he is by the time we get to “Upgrade.” After he mutates? He’s more flamboyant, extravagant, animated, expressive—his motions are energetic and fluid, he lets his hair down more to have it appear more feminine than masculine, he shows off more skin to where you can’t unsee every inch of his bare legs and buttocks. He’s more hot-blooded than before and it already seems like he can breathe easier than himself, in a way? Now I’m not saying that Wolf turning himself into a mutate is the CLOSEST the man has come to coming out of the closet, but it may as well be because he’s now physically altered his appearance to try and measure up to another man.
Dingo’s rejection of Wolf’s transformative state could be compared to a friend unhappy that you received plastic surgery. See, because Dingo is a mess too, he is not at ALL qualified to help wean Wolf out of this situation. Dingo did the best he could do, and at that point in time, the best thing he could do is jeer at Wolf for changing himself, with remarks like “I hope you’re not planning on eating your snack,” or, “How can you be our leader? You’re barely even our species!” Dingo would NOT be saying this if he weren’t emotionally affected by Wolf’s transformation, the twins are horrific in themselves, but I think it’s clear as day that he at least cares for Wolf the most at this point now that Fox has left. He’s not happy that Wolf did this to himself not just because it bothers him but because he also knows the last thing Wolf probably needs right now is something as ego-boosting as a willing bodily transformation. It’s sad because they’re two men who are so disconnected from being a functioning member of society, and they worked together for a very long time in this merry group of misfits. Because things are changing now, Dingo, being the sanest of the group is afraid of it and while he cares for Wolf, he’s also become afraid of Wolf, afraid of what he looks like now and what Wolf’s become and may do in his new “evolved” form.
Now that Dingo’s had his lil schpiel in this spat, we kinda segway into Wolf’s response which is much more deluded and emotionally disgruntled. He steps up to Dingo, pointing his big beastly claw at him and just grunts out, “WE did what YOU were afraid to!” He sounds like the ghost of Jacob Marley scolding his old partner Scrooge for not joining him in the chains.
I think Wolf’s perspective paints a much more painful picture because to Wolf, this transformation he did to try and measure up to another man is probably the closest he’s come to making a drastic decision to express himself through appearance. A bodily transformation can be such a mentally accelerant decision to make, and Wolf is just getting this absolute ego rush from it. Wanting to recreate the beauty of what he sees in Goliath—this alpha-beast-man he’s obsessed with—makes this transformation projection at best. He’s attracted to Goliath’s domineering presence and wants to embody that for himself somehow, this transformation further connecting him emotionally to Goliath and only creating more of an obsessive instinctual animal love. Wolf is probably coping with the intense changes to his body and emotional state through seeking out more ego boosting activity, IE, trying painfully hard to gain a status of “leader” like a capitalist worker whos devoted himself completely mind body and soul to their job. Because of his own self-pressuring, Wolf likely wants to be validated for this sort of decision and any rejection of it could push some sensitive buttons. Because of this, he lashes out at Dingo and calls him a coward, “We only did what you were AFRAID to do!” Because of Dingo’s attitude here, that heavily triggered Wolf because it was someone NOT accepting him, and his response is essentially, “You don’t like who I am, go fuck yourself coward!” The familiar state of trying to mask that these words are HURTING him! Wolf is scaring Dingo in response because Dingo just severely hurt his feelings, IE, pushing those sensitive buttons he buries beneath the grit he displays.
Wolf continues, “And we agreed whoever bagged the biggest gargoyle would lead the pack!” and the twins are just smiling nodding and agreeing with him. I kind of personally feel like this implicates they have no intention of upholding that bet because I think the only one who truly “cares” about bagging the biggest gargoyle is Wolf. Like I’m fairly certain he was making such a big deal about that being their end goal, talking about how BIG Goliath is and probably Hudson too and then the twins and Coyote just eventually agreed to that bet just shut him up. So them smiling and nodding here is more them being cheeky about it, because lets be honest, the twins love teasing and making fun of Wolf because pushing his buttons is too damn easy and don’t take my words to heart because maybe I just have a poor read on the twins but I’m not sure they’d EVER be okay with him being their leader. That’s my theory at least, that even the other psychopaths are kinda pushing Wolf’s buttons so they can further his delusions.
Also can I just point out how sassy and pretty and perfect he is like the beard the hairy shoulders the muscles the intense red eyes good LORD he’s beautiful, idgaf what some of y’all say.
So just as he says that, crashing down from the ceiling above them all headfirst and aerodynamic-like is Goliath. I don’t know why but when Goliath lands it looks like a smoke bomb just went off like I guess that place must be dusty as hell.
The Pack looks upwards from where Goliath fell and coming down on big ol rocket thrusters while dramatic music is playing is Kanye West—I mean, Coyote. His head is kinda like in this little fetus sticking out of his chest but he just looks like a giant furry transformer with like hind legs and everything.
As soon as coyote lands, I can't help but notice the first sign of something that will continue to haunt me throughout the rest of his appearances in the series. Wolf's butt dimples sticking out from the back of his lil singlet.
I remember being a teenager and seeing them for the first time and just thinking to myself “wow not only does he have really great legs but I can see his ass kinda and hes also super big and muscular so I guess big muscular men can show off their booty like this?” I remember being a lad in the 2000s and watching Madonna spritz around in her leotard in the Hung Up music video and wanting to look just like her cause I thought she was very spunky and bold showing off her body like that. So now seeing it on a MAN who is big and pretty-eyed and muscular and hairy but has this sense of flamboyance to his aggressive mannerisms—it just really made the dots click in my young innocent head that I might be gay.
As soon as Coyote lands he just says, “Sorry, Wolf—BUT I THINK MY GOLIATH TOPS YOUR HUDSON!” He’s using top and bottom metaphors to continually push Wolf’s buttons, oh my lord I can’t even right now! And wolf just like exasperates at that statement, like he does this confused and speechless little diva pout like ‘’WHAT’ xD I guess the idea of being topped is making his asshole clench and its driving him INSANE with anger.
Hyena just looks up at Coyote and starts getting all outwardly flirty, walking up to him like a hooker in her weird mechanical gogo boots. She’s all like “Ooooohhhh, Coyote honey!” Then she like puts her hands together and looks up at him like some anime girl and big ol doe eyes, and she’s like “Is that you?” Cree Summer, ladies and gentlemen.
For some reason this just sets Wolf off to the side, like he just freezes and watches her being down bad for Coyote and based off his expressions hes just like “WTF REALLY GIRL?? EVEN IM NOT THAT FREAKY!” and then he looks up at coyote all like “Why does HE have to be bigger than me?!” Cause im sure hes also suffering with major size jealousy right now. I think also just watching a woman being attracted to a big man is making Wolf jealous, not necessarily of Coyote or Hyena, but moreso jealous that because Hyena is a woman its easier for her to be all sultry and flirty towards a large man and he can’t bring himself to do that because he knows itll look “gay.”
So Wolf is so set off by Coyote’s new form and apparent largeness that he just tries to square up to him, which is adorable in retrospect because hes just upset someone bigger than him would be able to bark orders around, so he just gets all diva mode and goes, “HIT THE ROAAAD SPARKY!” Then he points at himself and goes, “I’M IN CHARGE, HERE!”
So these next frames of Wolf’s butt dimples after he says that, the way he kinda postures himself and settles his large muscular back, his butt just is poking out of his singlet BEGGING to be released into the cool night air, its almost like his glutes are just gonna flex themselves free. Also it kind of drives a gay viewer insane knowing the context that Wolf is a size queen and he’s so uptight as person that he just needs some big gargoyle dick to get ALL up in there in hopes of solving his insatiable homo ways. You can tell Wolf’s pussy is quaking in that singlet. These particular kinds of backshots of him burned into my brain as a kid and now remains there in the forefront of my Wolf fixation.
Hyena just kinda scoffs and laughs at Wolf’s jeering at Coyote and then she starts defending her cyborg in shining armor, “ohohoho, really?? I didn’t see YOU take out Goliath!”
The pillow princess he is, Wolf crosses his arms all gangster like. Jackal approaches the scene at Wolf’s side and starts kinda scolding his sister for wanting to fuck Coyote, probably because he wants to fuck his sister and he’s getting cuckholded right now. “You’re not siding with this… Glorified toaster oven!?” Wolf off to the side the whole time like “Yeah YOU get her, Jackal, she just schooled my ass!”
Fucking Hyena just looks up at Coyote stroking his arm and says, “I find him VERY attractive!” All dreamy like. The way she says it reminds me of like Audrey Horne in Twin Peaks in the diner scene from episode 6, turning to Donna and being all like “Oh I loooove this music, isn’t it too dreamy?~”
Jackal’s just like immediately responding to that shit unsure what to say and is all, “Wellllll THAT’S sicker than usual!” Which makes me wonder what the usual sickness is but I also don’t really care because I don’t like the twins that much.
Then he turns to Wolf and puts his hand on his shoulder like he’s a pet! Which is so funny because right now his sister is grossing him out so much that he’s just like, “I’ll hang out with the closet case werewolf because right now you’re kinda wigging me out with this robot fucker stuff!”
“Okay, hairball!” Jackal says. The look on Wolf’s face is PRICELESS. Like he wants soooo badly to be bitchy to him for that but Hyena and Dingo just gave him such a big headache he’s accepting Jackal as the lesser headache option in the moment. “I’m with you!” Jackal says, and I think Wolf lets out this reluctant little smile which is rare because he’s usually NEVER happy. Like, “Yeah we can hang out JUST CAUSE you’re the only one not pissing me off right now…”
Dingo off to the side who’s just repulsed by everyone and doesn’t even know where his place is in this group by this point is all, “What a choooice...” Its so funny because he’s like “yeah ok just side with my mentally ill fresh ex-boyfriend” and he’s so damn pouty about it. He looks over at Coyote and Hyena canoodling and is all, “A robot who thinks hes a human…”
Then he looks at Jackal and Wolf and says, “Or a HUMAN who’s gone to the dogs!” Jackal and Wolf just look so mean girls hearing that response, Wolf still crossing his big sweaty arms.
Then he sheepishly approaches Coyote and says, “So what’s our next move… Boss?”
END OF UPGRADE, PART 1. STAY TUNED TILL NEXT TIME, Y’ALL.
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