As depicted through the following Podcast Episode of The Loincloth Hour
Trigger Warning: A Bunch of Gay Sex Jokes
Reader Discretion Advised.
Welcome back to the Hyperfixation Corner! If you survived the sheer amount of diva energy and muscle-bound gay panic in Part 1, buckle up. We left off with the newly upgraded Pack trying to figure out their next move, and Dingo reluctantly handing the leadership reins over to our favorite furry mess, Wolf.
At this point, Wolf is the ultimate embodiment of the tragic monster archetype. He has completely altered his physical form, driven by a desperate, obsessive need to measure up to the ultimate alpha, Goliath. As we dive into the second half of this episode breakdown, I have a confession to make: I honestly tried not taking so many notes on Wolf. But I lost control and couldn't help myself. He's got this undeniable animal magnetism with me.
So, without further ado, let's jump right back into the madness.
I tried not taking so many notes on Wolf but then I lost control and couldn’t help myself. He’s got this undeniable animal magnetism with me.
My first question, what the hell are these captivity tubes and why are they here? Where did they get them? Why this form of captivity for their prey? And how the hell did they get in there?
Wolfs just got his face pressed up against the glass and he’s breathing heavily, and it drive him crazy that Goliath’s just RIGHT THERE, and he wants him so badly! Coyote off to the side is aware of it and just doesn’t care, just responding with, “All in good time.” Just the overall nonchalant allowance of Wolf’s temper tantrum and obsession, The Pack are continuing to be what they’ve always been—enablers for his mental illness. And Dingo can see that! Dingo is trying to keep Wolf chill during the “Goliath is mine” scene, because at this point, he’s just completely lost hope for the twins and the one remaining person in the pack he cares about has not only changed their appearance so rashly but is also gradually getting worse, now that this transformation has just completely boosted Wolf’s ego. He responds to Coyote, turning to Wolf trying to be reassuring and saying, “Welp, can’t argue with that logic.” Wolf just continues to seethe and lets out this blood curdling, animalistic growl and flexes his muscles and just continues to STARE at Goliath floating in that tube…
And secondly what the hell was it like in the writing room for this scene? Was Greg all like, “I want Wolf to salivate over the chamber while growling, snarling and breathing all up on the glass to display how BADLY he wants Goliath?” How the hell do you write something this blatantly gay??? Which also makes me wonder, did the Disney executives just completely overlook the character of Wolf and his behavioral traits and not pick up on this kinda thing? Did they perceive it as just a villain expressing how BADLY he wants the hero in that classic “Popeye V. Bluto” sense? Because I don’t know if y’all even know how gay Popeye and Bluto were. Here, Wolf and Goliath don’t even have the inclusion of an Olive Oyl between them to make it at least somewhat straight… Wolf has zero interest in women. All he wants are men.
And like look at this audacious fucking frame of pressing himself up against the glass, like come on, he looks like a dog trying to escape from being locked inside of a car. Look at his face bro, its like a dehydrated straggler in the desert that just found a glass of water for the first time but its locked inside of a cage! Have you ever seen man on man lust this rampant before in a Saturday Morning Cartoon?? Not since Sabretooth and his unquenchable thirst for Wolverine’s fat hairy balls have I seen something so GAY.
Also he’s got like the sexiest growl of all time.
*after chess scene with Fox & Xanatos is completed and we pan back to the Pack…*
Wolf then just smashes at Goliath’s chamber with his fists shouting, “I say FORGET the flea collar and finish off these Gargoyles now!” I’m pretty sure he breaks it, causing all these cracks in the Glass and everything?? This fuckin’ idiot would actually blow the whole operation for that canonically big Gargoyle cock. And he’d blow other things in the process, such as that canonically big Gargoyle cock. Like he just doesn’t even care and wants to start fooling around with Goliath and suck his dick and have him suck his dick back. Like what an absolute freak. How the fuck did Greg get away with writing such an obscenely queer character. I’m halfway expecting Wolf to just start like licking the glass and rubbing his dick against the chamber. Yknow hes kinda like if Frank n Furter and Rocky were the same character. This boy is a star.
Hyena responds, “Just follow the leader wolf, his idea is a good one.” She’s with Jackal and they’re laying like Go Fish or Strip Poker together. Dingos just in the back vibing.
Lexington is such a diva.
When Brooklyn starts distracting the Pack by flying around in circles like a dork, Wolf shouts out, “Finally, some action!” and chases after him, and the way he runs reminds me of when a supermodel has to run her ass off while wearing heels. Wolf also reminds me of a doggie who’s being distracted by an insect and then just shuts their brain off and starts chasing after it blindly.
He like gets down on all fours in butt fuck dick suck position and like a frog off a lily pad leaps up to the underside railing of the window, before launching himself over mountain climber style.
You ever notice when Broadway throws the helmet, it hits the crack right on Goliath’s chamber that Wolf left?? Interesting detail.
Dingo being stuck in the ceiling like that is giving Manicorn ideas I Just know it.
Wolf is after Brooklyn’s ass. I mostly blame how pent up he is over not having Goliath that he’s settling for another Gargoyle. You couldn’t make it sound gayer if you tried.
The back muscles!
Rawr im gonna get ya! 'rawr rawr rawr im gonna suck yer dick!'
So he like sticks his big werewolf ass out like a stripper to pick up this big trunk of like construction piping, I think it is? He like lets out this otherworldly wolf growl and like YANKS it out of the train station like a madman, I love it. The way his like ponytail flips in the night breeze with the stars in the background, I love it. Makes my heart flutter. He like holds it like a big ol’ tree trunk and aims it like a weapon at Brooklyn, approaching him on his like dainty Werewolf feet. And you know what the whole time you can see his bulge down in his crotch area? Like he’s about to fuckin’ start humpin’ the nearest thing. That thing scares me even more than David Bowie’s bulge in Labyrinth.
Brooklyn enters a “come at me bro” stance standing up to Wolf and effortlessly dodges Wolf’s lethal phallic object… The construction piping, that is. Not his dick.
Brooklyn backs up and bumps into Jackal who’s like, “Going somewhere?”
And then Brooklyn makes like this face…?
He looks like Legoshi from Beastars idk why he just does.
Wolf then wacks him with the big ol piping, then stands there triumphantly and says, “No, he’s not.” He thinks he's such a bad girl standing on the stage with his pipe out like that. Bro legit thinks he's beyonce bout to stiletto step on your ass.
*pass to Mani & Hiran*
flamingo lookin ass
Lexington looks like a sultry maiden. He looks like a blow up doll about to get fucked.
HATE spider hyena. No likey. Nuh-uh. Show me more of the gay wolfman.
So where the fuck is Lexintgons hand?
Oh my god he’s like Mr. Fantastic, its DISGUSTING.
So big boy is still up on the stage lookin down at Jackal and Brooklyn fighting. He’s got this real ‘pathetic’ power stance as he’s doing it like this is beneath him. It’s really funny.
Look, like at one point he lifts his leg a lil and you can kinda see his pussy lines. Its insane.
I SEE those pussy lines, big boy. You cannot hide from me.
Then I guess he's like bored, so he wants to jump down and join them. And then when he’s about to do probably the gayest leap of all time with a twirl and everything probably, what the fuck do you think happens next out of all the things that could possibly happen in this very moment? In a flurry of manly grunts, Hudson leaps in out of nowhere from the sky and starts scissoring Wolf's neck with his thighs, almost like If they were in the pool right now they'd be playing that game... Chicken fight, I think it's called… or shoulder wars...? It's like poor wolf is already freaking gay already and he can't stand a minute of it, now he's got to deal with Hudson trying to scissor hold him from behind??? Hudson's salty older matured Gargoyle dick and balls are literally brushing up against the back of wolf's neck and it is driving him insane with hunger right now.
lol Hudson looks so chill in this frame and Wolf is just freaking out because he's such a fatass. It almost looks like he’s trying to help Hudson get a better view at a concert because they’re on a date? This is actually quite a cute and funny scene.
Wolf starts to have gay panic and tries to shake Hudson off by gripping his bicep and I think reaching for his back? Hudson becomes a brat and knocks him on the head and Wolf has like this crosseyed look kinda after he gets bonked for like a split frame. I think Wolf is mostly freaking out here because he’s all like ‘oh no this big gargoyle man is riding me and now I have a BONER!’ If he does have a boner in this scene that make it even funnier cause all his jumping around means its just waving out there in the open like a flag mast coming outta that tight blue singlet.
So what out of this occurrence is the first thing that comes to Wolf’s mind? Well, he shouts out to Jackal saying, “Finish him, Jackal! (referring to Brooklyn) If this old one’s awake (referring to Hudson), then so is GOLIATH!” And the way he says it while jumping around reminds me of a kid having a temper tantrum at the mall that they can’t get a toy because their parents are trying to save money. But what REALLY gets me is how he just CAN’T get Goliath off his mind! All that lovemaking to him from outside the chamber just has him feeling a special sort of way!
This frame where Brooklyn is just looking at them from below just absolutely dumbfounded is PRICELESS. He is watching two grown ass men probably like 20 to 40 years older than him touching each other, like Hudson’s still just chilling on Wolf’s shoulders while Wolf jumps around like a big baby desperately to conceal his erection. Or maybe Wolf’s just shaking his fist at Brooklyn shouting like, “Don’t judge us for what we have, you virgin welp!” This whole scene is incredibly funny and gay, it’s like something out of a Jojo humiliation skit.
I’m watching this scene and I’m just looking at Wolf hopping around in the lotus position like a leapfrog while this sexy daddy is sitting on his shoulders and just thinking to myself, “Is this even a wrestling move? Like, is this even wrestling at this point or is this just further sensual frustration we are trying to put Wolf through, so he loses is cool and gets his ass whooped again?”
Someone else take over I can’t even look at Jackal right now oh my lord.
So, when Brooklyn starts climbing out of the little trainyard pit, we see leaping about: Wolf’s thick ass muscular werewolf feet and legs thighs and bulge from like a floors perspective. And theres like a split frame or two where you see Wolf’s bulge and like…
What is THAT, bro. Like there are two possibilities. The obvious being its an erection. The other would be Wolf’s belly sticking out? With his dick and balls likely being tucked further downstairs. IF Wolf even has a dick and balls, that is. We don’t really know what’s going on down there. But I want to find out and I feel like this is just a huge clue. I will memorize every inch of this man’s body in its current state.
Wolf just keeps hopping around and we pan out, it looks almost like Brooklyn is still reacting to whatever the fuck he’s watching? Like maybe Brooklyn’s seeing this shit, its possible he’s too straight to even comprehend what the fuck is even going on right now with Wolf and Hudson. They’ve had a thing going on this episode really.
What are you looking at, crab lobster boy?
So this next sequence and probably the last sequence solely focusing on the limits of Wolf’s new transformation is very interesting especially for a Wolf fanatic like myself, so I just wanna really break this down.
We close in on Hudson and we see like these real ‘anime style’ motion lines just completely coat the background behind him as he continues to ride Wolf’s shoulders and scissor him from behind? Hudson takes out his sword…
Then we just cut back to Wolf with Hudsons garter style legs still wrapped around him and—
Like, his eyes are bright white, no pupils, his doggie ears seem a little lurched back more. His face seemed to contort its way into a more elongated Werewolf-like jaw, no longer Wolf’s newly furry mug. Oh, and his NOSE! He has a legitimate doggie nose now!?!?! So fucking cute! And he’s like snarling and salivating, like the whole nine yards of a more anthropomorphic featured Wolf. So, during the sequence when Hudson is on his shoulders and the anime lines appear I assume is when Wolf’s face really started transforming into something more Wolf-like, freaking Hudson out hence Hudson pulling out his sword. However, we don’t directly see him transform into this, we just kind of cut away, then back again to reveal his new transformed state.
It feels like something was spliced at some point to kind of censor out what the transformation looked like and maybe that was one of the parts of the episode that couldn’t get past the censors, which is why we get those weird anime lines around Hudson? Also, what Hiran had found on the Ask Greg blog, stating that Wolf’s transformative states are based around his emotions at the time? That being said, the temper tantrum and frustration he felt in that moment urged him to turn into a literal Wolfman. And all of this was instigated by HUDSON’S THIGHS LOCKED AROUND HIS NECK. Panicking and not being able to compose himself properly to get loose from Hudson’s scissorhold grip. His body physically contorted over a man’s muscular legs and caused him to go feral… I have no idea how so many queer analysts that have watched this show never really picked up on this before. I feel like I may be the first one to really break down just WHY this has happened. This is almost like how in Ginger Snaps, the werewolf transformation is a metaphor for a woman experiencing hormones and menstruation for the first time? How Ginger who had no interest in sleeping around with boys before is now fucking them like a maniac and even, quote, ‘wanting to tear everything apart.’ So to a huge degree, IF the theory that Wolf transforms based around his emotional states is true, this instance of Wolf transforming could mean that his werewolfism is a subtextual metaphor for his regressed feelings towards masculinity, ie, his hidden feelings of inferiority about ‘being a man.’
So I guess this gives Wolf the strength to lift his fist and knock Hudson’s sword right out of his hand? It flies off and lands on some electrified train tracks. Brooklyn’s still just standing there in the background. There’s even an obvious sign there that says, “Danger Third Rail.”
With his newly transformed state, Wolf grips Hudsons right wrist and behind his left bicep, then uses his strength to yank Hudson off of him finally. As he’s doing this, I’m pretty sure Hudsons ass just like encomposes Wolf’s maw at some point? In a few frames, it looks like he’s trying to either eat his ass or shove his head up his ass, with Wolf’s ponytail flipping around behind him. Ugh what a freak.
After Wolf recuperates, he just kinda stands there like he’s about to huff puff and blow. Like ‘oh no look what you made me do’ taylor swift levels of muscle brat energy.
Hudson lands next to Brooklyn. Brooklyn goes and makes a joke like, “There’s never a silver bullet around when you need one.” Tee hee hee, very funny, lobster boy.
Wolf hears him tho and he’s just like, “OH. OH NO YOU DIDN’T!” He points right at Brooklyn and snarls out, “You’re gonna need more than that!” Like he thinks he’s unstoppable, its so fucking cute.
I’m also just kinda noticing here that he has like a big bushy lower beard that didn’t show up in the earlier scenes. Wolf’s design is so confusing in this sequence. Like the animators clearly were given a few instructions and winged it for each passing scene. I guess that just makes him more of a mystifying queer icon, at the end of the day? Someone who is so inherently queer, they can’t keep a consistent look or design pattern to save their life.
So Wolf like bears his claws all ‘rawr rawr’ style and starts moving towards them. Wolf sees Hudson going in for what he thinks is the sword on the tracks, so Wolf’s first impulse is to walk over pouty diva style, and he like gives Hudson an uppercut punch but there’s this really toony sounding ‘punch’ sound effect that plays when it happens, its kinda funny actually?
Cause he punches him while standing there all angy with his legs spread and everything. Wolf reaches down to grab the sword, I don’t know if he’s planning on using it in the fight or toss it to the side so he can use his claws/bare hands as he so prefers to use. But instead—
He just gets fuckin ZAPPED like a fly in a bug zapper bro and just starts yelling out! All his hair is like standing on end and everything. Poor baby did not even consider that possibility you know his ass got shocked in multiple ways than one! Also this is I think the second time hes been zapped? The first time was when Coyote like grabbed his booby in “Leader of the Pack” and buzzed him. At the end of the day its also proof that Wolf’s ultimate foil is himself and his own stupidity.
We cut away and we don’t see him for a while.
At the end we see Wolf hanging unconscious tied up to the ceiling next to the other pack members as the cops shine the lights on the. Wolf has regressed out of that more anthropomorphic transformed state and is back to normal. “A VET” LMAO Poor Wolfy!
The only instance we see wolf after that is when hes a chess piece on Xanatos and Fox’s board game. I think he’s a pawn? Which I mean, speaks for itself.
THAT’S ALL FOLKS.